Big sigh

I always hate regretting things. I will always remember when I was about 5 or 6 and mom and dad took me to walmart. This was back in the days when collecting stickers was the coolest thing I did and I was being treated. Mom and dad said I could choose any sticker book I wanted. For some reason, I didn't end up getting one, even though I at one point had one in my hand that I wanted. I went home empty handed. I have always regretted not getting that sticker book. Not sure what the draw to it was, but I think about from time to time and I have no idea why I didn't buy it. Any ways, I am regretting right now not going home with Tyler. Tyler is, right now, in the Vancouver airport, waiting to go home. And I am sitting in Bella Bella, alone with Kitty, doing nothing, regretting not going with him. The reason why I am sitting here instead of with Tyler is because we didn't have anyone to look after Kitty while we were gone. I offered to stay. And what a bad decision that was.

The day started pretty good. We were both awake and out of bed by 9:00am. I made pancakes and for once, I didn't burn them. Tyler taught me how to make pancakes without burning them. The trick is to not put them in a burning hot pan, but to slowly cook them. They turned out good, only they were really small and really thin. Mini crepes. Tasty.

Then Tyler got ready for his big trip. He finished the laundry from last night and folded all his clean clothes. He packed away the crab and salmon and was all ready to go by 1:00. He just wanted to get out of here. I just wanted him to stay. I kept shedding a few tears because I am going to miss him. And I do. I hate not being able to be with him. It's hard but I know he will have so much fun. And I am super jealous that I will be here, not having as much fun.

Then we went to the airport. The e-brake gave us some more trouble, but soon we were waiting at the airport and I kept crying. I didn't want him to leave but sitting there waiting for him to leave was torture. Luckily, to lighten the mood, there was a little tiny kitten in the terminal. A little boy was holding it. She was orange and so cute. The little boy took the kitten outside and returned with it in a cat tote. He was carrying it around and then went back outside. He returned again, only now, by some mysterious happening, the kitten was now a full grown cat. It was a strange moment for about 10 seconds, until we realized that of course it was a different cat. But they looked the same. Then we noticed the little kitty in there too. It made my day a little happier when I didn't think anything would.

We said our see-you-laters (because you never say good bye!!) and I walked out of the airport. My plan was to run back to our apartment, and I did...in 20 minutes. I ran about half way and then walked really fast. I saw the plane in the sky and that was that. From all that crying, I had and still have a huge headache. I miss Tyler but he called and that made it all better. He said there were 3 cats on the flight and one dog underneath.

So, now I am doing nothing...there is actually less to do, now that Tyler isn't here. I don't want to go for a walk alone, and that is really all there is to do here.

I am currently watching Thelma and Louise. It's a silly movie.

Kitty is laying beside me. Sleeping.

I made a smoothie for supper. Only I made more then one person needed and even more then Tyler and I could drink. It was good.

I should probably try to cut Kitten's toe nails. They are tricky to get too, plus the fact that she hates pedicures, this will be a tough game to play with her.

No plans for the night. I am just waiting for Tyler's call again, once he gets into Calgary.

It's funny how much I miss Tyler. How much I want to be with him right now. It makes me feel so happy that I get to spend the rest of my life with him. I just can't wait till next thursday.

-Son